I’ve been waiting to watch this movie for monthsss and I finally got to watch it. And to be honest the entire movie had me perplexed. Lots of emotions, lots of confusion, some good moments, more disappointment and endless whys..
It started out nice, poor Peter is sad and depressed watching his loved ones live their lives while completely oblivious to his existence. And yet Spider-Man still shows up every time there is a crime, helping those in need even if he suffers and gets exhausted.
And just like that on a random day a tank has been hijacked and is causing mayhem on the streets, Spidey is trying to stop it and while he’s at it he’s interrupted by Frank Castle aka The Punisher.
Now here’s my first WHY?
Why didn’t they show how Spider-Man and The Punisher met?
I mean WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO SEE THAT?? Instead they invented this “saves his ass in Staten Island” bullshit and let the story just continue.
And secondly WHY WAS THE PUNISHER FOLLOWING THE DAMN TANK? He’s not your average day to day super hero who goes around saving cats from trees. They never truly cleared this as to what he was doing or what his intentions were. Is he now the friendly neighborhood punisher?
Anyways we move forward, the tank chase ends with Spidey sensing the hop of another presence between multiple people. This Spidey sense intuition was a really good touch, I liked that part that he could sense it and was immune to being controlled.
Spider-Man then goes to Yelena to seek advice. Although I would’ve preferred there were more dialogues and scenes between them. The entire character and vibe of Yelena is really charismatic, and the connection she forms with teens and young adults is really fun to watch. I still don’t understand as to what happened to the main HQ of the New Avengers, I thought they had a really nice building or a setup. Plus what “Big Potatoes” have they really faced yet? I mean Void/Sentry was just an hour long friendship battle that ended so quick, What other threats have they faced that they classify other problems as “small potatoes”?
Now comes another big WHY?
WHY DO YOU TRUST THE GOVERNMENT BLINDLY?? Like after hydra and countless other organizations and government secrecy projects, how could you just be at ease and cool with what they are doing? No oversight of the most powerful heroes on these institutions? Like the arrested Hand operatives are being used as security guards and that didn’t ring any warning bells?
But sure lets just throw away our useless brains and blindly go along with whatever they tell us..
Anyways we move forward again..
I mean the whole forget me magic was done to save your loved ones, why go back and visit them or interact with them? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the entire endeavor? But I suppose love makes us do stupid and crazy shit that often times doesn’t make sense at all. But seeing them move on to another guy, your best friend seeing you as a stranger, hearing their voices and looking at them must’ve been really traumatic.
Hence the acceleration in the Spidey spider process, which I really liked but it also pissed me off. You know you’re going through something which you have no idea about, nor you could control it. THEN WHY go off to face your villains in that state? Shouldn’t you fix yourself before trying to fix the city?
Now comes the first wtf moment I had watching the movie. Bruce Banner apparently returns in a human form, a complete switch from the smart hulk he was.
This scene really pissed me off. The whole purpose and the story behind the smart hulk was Bruce realizing that:
“I did. For years, I’ve been treating the Hulk like he’s some kind of disease, something to get rid of. But then I started looking at him as the cure. Eighteen months in a gamma lab, I put the brains and the brawn together. And now look at me… best of both worlds.”
What happened to the best of both worlds? Like he completely backtracked and caged hulk again. No reason or any indication was given whatsoever, and the entire vibe I felt was like a betrayal to the hulk. The smart guy doesn’t seem that smart to me tbh.
Again we move on from another disappointment..
The next scenes go by in which Peter is trying to control his hormone/dna/spider levels and somehow even with high intelligence and EVE AI, both couldn’t figure out that the goggle were causing the problems in the equation? And that MJ HAD TO POINT IT OUT?? Sometimes the protagonist seems smart and equally dumb at the same time.
Another major WHY? is..
WHY DIDN’T JEAN GREY JUST HOP AND HOP AND HOP FROM ONE EMPLOYEE TO ANOTHER UNTIL SHE REACHED METZGER?
I mean the entire plan of hers is to find what V-Max is, and where her sister is. The whole anonymous thing was really working soo good that why even reveal herself at all? Just hop and hop until you get into Metzger mind and see the truth, but noooo the writers wanted to stretch this out in a completely stupid way.
She had to first distract Spider-Man by using his ex (although the rooftop kiss was a nice cruel touch), then use the hulk (the idiotic failsafe didn’t work, you’d assume a smart guy would put some precautions knowing he had previous encounters with mind controllers aka Wanda), and finally use The Punisher for the final hop before being predictably stopped.
Such a drag especially when this all could be avoided if she stayed in the shadows and hopped until she got into Metzger mind.
Then the same stupid script starts, people with powers taken to secure locations for experiments. When will the people learn and be smart about it?
Spider-Man then again endangers MJ’s life, takes her to Frank’s home I guess? which looked like a premium graveyard. Like for a person who has unlimited finest gear, weapons and technology, shouldn’t he get himself a nice place? or even a better hideout than a junkyard?
And tbh with you, I think Peter left the letter there on purpose so that he wouldn’t have to bear the responsibility of reading it to her. And out of many disappointments I’m glad that they didn’t reunite the lovers, that would’ve been soo cheesy and predictable.
But yea the handshake with Ned was soooo worth it in the end.
And speaking of the end, we come to the final pathetic parts of the movie which almost made me rate it below 5.
THE REVENGE:
The whole purpose of going into all the trouble was to find her sister, and the moment she got the chance to face and end her sister’s killer, you’d think they just blast their skin off or tore their arms off, or even stab them everywhere.
But no, the most shittiest and ridiculous thing happens is that the power of friendship overwhelms you and you let the murderers escape.
Peter was like nooooo Jean you’re not a killer, bitch wtf?? didn’t she use the hulk and Frank to kill off people in the building? What was that?? And you clearly saw that they experiment and torture people, SO WHY LET THE VILLAIN LIVE? It’s not like Jean was gonna kill every person in the city. Metzger death would’ve been soo satisfying and realistic. But then again the bullshit power of friendship comes and ruins the entire thing.
And to make matters worse, the friendship that was just built on the clause that Peter is there for her, WE SEE JEAN LEAVING TOWN ALONE AFTER SHE SAVES HIS SORRY ASS. Like comeon a scene between both of them hanging out or something would’ve done wonders for the movie, it would’ve showed that Peter’s words were not just words but much more. In order to not do life alone he visited Ned to reunite with his old bestie but he couldn’t catchup with the girl who saved his life and who’s scarred from all this trauma?
All in all it was an okayish good movie, some parts were really nice, the fighting and action bits were good. But mostly it had huge disappointment for a movie I had eagerly been waiting to watch, and expected more of..